Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About It

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Ever wonder why women can brush their teeth while walking and talking on various subjects while men generally find this very difficult to do? Why 99 percent of all patents are registered by men? Why stressed women talk? Why so many husbands hate shopping? According to Barbara and Allan Pease, science now confirms that "the way our brains are wired and the hormones pulsing through our bodies are the two factors that largely dictate, long before we are born, how we will think and behave. Our instincts are simply our genes determining how our bodies will behave in given sets of circumstances." That's right: socialization, politics, or upbringing aside, men and women have profound brain differences and are intrinsically inclined to act in distinct--and consequently frustrating--ways.

The premises behind Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps is that all too often, these differences get in the way of fulfilling relationships and that understanding our basic urges can lead to greater self-awareness and improved relations between the sexes. The Peases spent three years researching their book--traveling the globe, talking to experts, and studying the cutting-edge research of ethnologists, psychologists, biologists, and neuroscientists--yet their work does not read a bit like "hard science." In fact, the authors go to considerable lengths to point out that their book is intended to be funny, interesting, and easy to read; in short, this is a book whose primary purpose is to talk about "average men and women, that is, how most men and women behave most of the time, in most situations, and for most of the past."



Why Men Don't Listen, therefore, deals largely in generalizations, and this is bound to alienate some readers. "We don't beat around the bush with suppositions or politically correct cliches," the Peases claim. Those up for an irreverent and unapologetic take on why men and women just can't help themselves sometimes may just decide to read on. --Svenja Soldovieri



From Publishers Weekly

"To get a man to listen, give him advance notice and provide an agenda," write the husband and wife Peases in this pithy, attention-grabbing guidebook to the differences between men and women. Originally self-published in Australia to wide acclaim, the book weaves together facts from the latest brain research, theories from evolutionary biology and a treasure trove of anecdotal events and conversations collected by the authors during a three-year research trip around the world. Sociobiology has rarely been so entertaining. The Peases say that a woman's brain is wired to be able to speak and listen simultaneously, for example, and they are geared to talk through problems. Men, by contrast, need to clam up. "He uses his right brain to try to solve his problems or find solutions, and he stops using his left brain to listen or speak." These brain differences took shape in cave days, according to the authors. Men were hunters and defenders who evolved tunnel vision (as compared to women's vision), while, as nurturers, women not only had broad peripheral vision but sensitive relationship skills. Channel surfing and newspaper skimming are modern ways for a man to cut off from others to privately mull problems, advise the authors. "Remember, his forefathers spent more than a million years sitting expressionless on a rock surveying the horizon, so this comes naturally to him.... " Feisty and crystal clear, this controversial work will appeal to readers of both sexes. (May)

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